Tar Heel Walk 2009

Remember that time I was almost diagnosed with Swine flu? Oh wait, no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry – H1N1? Well, I say almost because I haven’t exactly been diagnosed yet. I’m still waiting on word from Urgent Care to confirm or deny that I may be another citizen of Durham County to be blessed with this aptly-titled virus. 

I guess I had it coming. I’ve been joking about it for ages. I mean, haven’t you? Every time someone coughs, I am quick to point the finger. “Swine flu!” And my dog’s nickname? Well, it’s Piggie, because she snorts when she’s sleeping, happy or excited – kind of like me. 

And so when I came down with fever, aches, and congestion – I brushed it off. But of course, the hospital didn’t. I was out of there faster than a hermit crab with a lighter to its shell (KEITH). 

Now I know what it feels like when you could have some potentially pandemic causing disease – like say, Ebola Zaire. When I told the nurse at Urgent Care what I needed to be tested for, her smile quickly turned to pursed lips, and she backed about ten feet away instantaneously. 

Dear readers, I’m not saying I actually have Swine flu. But the experience of being treated as if I have it has been rather interesting. I must say, this could have some benefits. I’ve really caught up on my sleep, and I have the funny feeling that if I were to purchase a surgical mask, I could get through my grocery shopping and other daily activities fairly quickly. What with the way people avoid you and all. 

Wait – I’m not even on Myspace or Twitter anymore. Facebook, I grow weary of you. When will you change your layout once again so that I can have something to complain about while I’m stuck at home?

And so, if you don’t see me out training – well, it’s because I’m waiting for the all-clear. And if you do – come up and give me a high five.

I promise I’ll use hand sanitizer first.